Hello.
Hello! Welcome to my website. I’m Abi Pattenden, Funeral Celebrant. I’m a member of the Fellowship of Professional Celebrants and have received extensive training through their Funeral Celebrant course. I am also a qualified Funeral Director with nearly 20 years’ experience.
I officiate at funerals, memorial services, ashes interments and any other celebration of life services at any venue across Sussex and Brighton and Hove. I have a firm belief in ‘Making a Good Goodbye’ and will work with you to create a personal, meaningful farewell. I will also be there to support you on the day.
If you are using a Funeral Director, you may like to ask them to contact me so that they can check my availability before they book your service venue. However, you can also get in touch with me directly if you are making part or all of the arrangements yourself, or if you are organising a memorial service or other commemorative event separately from a funeral.
You can also follow me on Instagram to see what I’m up to.
About Me.
My name is Abi, I’m Sussex born and bred and have lived in Brighton for fifteen years. I have been a Funeral Director for nearly 20 years and in 2018 I was President of the National Association of Funeral Directors.
A change in my family circumstances has meant I have stopped working full-time. I had a long-term ambition to work in celebrancy and this more flexible situation means this is now possible. Many years of working in funeral service has taught me how important a good celebrant is- and what a difference it can make. Personal, meaningful celebrations of life are not only an important part of commemorating someone has died but are also an opportunity to gather together collectively to laugh, cry, sing, dance- whatever feels right for you. My role is to help you develop this ceremony and be a calm and guiding presence on the day, enabling you to concentrate on your feelings and spend time with your guests. While my services are fundamentally non-religious in nature, I am happy to include words and readings from any belief system. I will also be pleased to lead a congregation in song.
I’m able to combine my extensive professional experience of funerals with the training I’ve had from the Fellowship of Professional Celebrants. I am fully DBS checked and have Public Liability Insurance to the value of £5m. I am also a professionally-trained actor, with many years of experience on stage, meaning you can rely on me to be well practiced but respond to anything that happens with a cool head.
My Promise To You.
These are the commitments I make for every ceremony I officiate:
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I will liaise with you in a transparent and timely manner- for example, I will tell you when you can expect to hear from me
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I will use my expertise to advise you accurately- for example, on what is possible in a particular service venue
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I will centre you, my client, in what I create- I will ensure you have opportunities to read and check drafts of service content
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I will work in ways that suit you- for example by speaking on the phone instead of emailing, or meeting online instead of in person, if this is better for you
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I will adhere to any timescales we agree
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I will be supportive to you and others involved in the creation and delivery of the service
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I will be honest, and realistic- for example, if I think you have too much service content in mind, I will tell you rather than cutting things short or rushing on the day
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I will manage the ceremony with calmness and efficiency
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I will treat all information given me with respect and confidentiality- I will not share any details you ask me not to and I will never judge
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I will help you in ‘Making a Good Goodbye’
In return, I ask that you share with me as much as you feel able to because this will enable me to serve you best.
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Tell me as much as you can about the person who has died, about their life and hopes and dreams
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Tell me about what was important to them, however small or silly it may seem
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Tell me not only what you want the ceremony to be like, but why
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Tell me how you and others felt about them and what you will miss
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Tell me the good things and any bad ones too
My Fees
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I charge £230 for services in and around Brighton and Worthing
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I charge from £240 for services further afield. Please enquire
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I will only charge essential expenses for the funeral of anyone who has died under the age of 18
Some Resources That May Help.
On this page you will find useful websites and online resources for many issues around death, dying, funerals, and bereavement.
Legal
UK Government resources:
What to do when someone dies: https://www.gov.uk/when-someone-dies
Children’s Funeral Fund: https://www.gov.uk/child-funeral-costs
Statutory parental leave and pay: https://www.gov.uk/parental-bereavement-pay-leave
Funeral Expenses payment: https://www.gov.uk/funeral-payments
Guide to Coroner’s Services: https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/guide-to-coroner-services-and-coroner-investigations-a-short-guide
Registration and Coroner’s Service:
Brighton Registrars: https://www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/births-deaths-marriages-civil-partnership-and-citizenship
East Sussex Coroner’s Service: https://www.eastsussex.gov.uk/registration/deaths/coroner
East Sussex Registrars: https://www.eastsussex.gov.uk/registration/register-office
West Sussex and Brighton Coroner’s Service: East Sussex Registrars: https://www.wsbhcoroner.org/
West Sussex Registrars: https://www.westsussex.gov.uk/find-my-nearest/registration-office/
Bereavement charities:
Child Bereavement UK: https://www.childbereavementuk.org/
Cruse Bereavement Support: https://www.cruse.org.uk/
Sands (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Support): https://www.sands.org.uk/
Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS): https://uksobs.com/
Winston’s Wish (support for bereaved children): https://winstonswish.org/
Poems for funerals:
Poetry Foundation: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/categories/death
Poetry.com: https://www.poetry.com/
Music for funerals:
Many service venues use one of two music systems, Obitus or Wesley. You can find their music libraries, showing what is available, here:
